Still Loved. Still Chosen. Still Welcome.
A Gentle Reminder for the Woman Who Feels Distant From God
The past couple of weeks, I’ve been struggling…
struggling to pray, struggling to study the Word, struggling to worship.
I’ve felt quite disconnected from God.
If I’m being honest, fellowship with God has seemed like such a chore the past couple of weeks. So much so that I’ve fallen asleep countless times in the middle of it, and totally skipped it at other times.
And through scrolling endlessly on social media, watching movies, working, and doing every other thing but spend time with God, I started to feel it… heavy, dark…creeping out from the shadows, there it was-staring right at me, the dreaded ugly 5-lettered word - GUILT. To remind me how sustaining a good long lasting relationship with God in the first place, was never possible for me. How my closeness to God was just a fleeting thing that was never bound to last. How even if I were to go back to God, it would take me weeks, perhaps months to get close to Him again. How I didn’t really love God, I was just at a really low point in my life, and I used him to get back up.
And I started to believe it. I mean, if I truly love the Lord, why should spending time with Him feel so hard?
Maybe I actually don’t love God the way I think I do after all. And even if I did, I’ve been too distant that it would truly take me Months to get back that feeling…to get back that connection.
But then the Spirit of God ever so gentle, ever so quiet, ever so loving, whispered to me; ‘this is a lie from the enemy’. He reminded me that we walk by Faith, not Feelings. That I felt distant from God, doesn’t mean God was distant from me.
You see, the enemy wants us tangled in guilt. He wants us so overwhelmed by the feeling of being far from God that we stay even farther. He wants us to sit in that disconnection, to wallow in the distance, to convince ourselves that God must be just as disappointed.
And when we finally muster the strength to return, we come back ashamed.
We feel like we’ve let God down. We start apologizing again and again.
We feel guilty even asking Him for anything, so we try to “make it up” to Him by spending a little time with Him first, just so we feel worthy to make our request.
But here’s the truth. God isn’t just Lord. He’s also Father.
Abba literally means Dad, which is an even more intimate connotation of the word Father.
Let me remind you of two scriptures:
The Prodigal Son
When he came back home, his father didn’t scold him.
He didn’t demand answers.
He didn’t accuse him of only returning because he needed something.
Instead, he ran toward him, embraced him, and threw a feast for him.
Why? Because that was his son. And his character never changed his love.
That son didn’t need to prove anything to be received again.
Then there’s Hebrews, which tells us to come boldly to the throne of grace.
Not timidly.
Not after we’ve earned the right to be heard.
Boldly. Because we’re already His.
This is not a letter telling you that distance from God is okay.
It’s a reminder that no matter how far you feel, you can come back, and you can do it boldly. Because the word of God tells us, that nothing can separate us from the love of God.
As women called to lead, we can’t afford to stay disconnected.
We can’t thrive in purpose when we’re detached from the source.
You may not always feel like praying.
You may not always feel like studying the Word.
But it’s okay not to feel like it. We don’t have to feel like it, to do it. God is not moved by feelings… neither should we.
We are women of faith.
And faith shows up even when feelings don’t.
Selah,
Olere